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Zeng Guofan said: "he who is fond of defeating others will have no place to defeat others. If he can beat others, he will not win."

means that people who like to be competitive must have nothing better than people, on the contrary, people who are really capable will not show off everywhere.

it is understandable that showing off is a human instinct.

but when people show off in middle age, instead of adding glory to themselves, they will be annoying, and even bring disaster to themselves.

when people reach a certain age, they should learn to precipitate, keep a low profile and do things, and showing off frequently will only make people look down on them even more.

money is not exposed, you do not walk alone

there is a saying in Zengguang Xianwen: "customers do not leave goods, wealth does not show white."

means that people who travel do not leave their luggage casually, and their money is not easily leaked to others to prevent thieves.

people are jealous, if they expose their money at will, it is easy to be missed, and even lead to bad disasters.

there is such a story in Journey to the West.

the Tang monk master and apprentice came to the Guanyin Academy, where the old monk took out his treasure to show off to the Tang monk.

Sun WuKong could not contain himself and took out the Tang monk's cassock to compete with one.

Sanzang warned, "Apprentice, don't fight for wealth with others. You and I are single outside, only for fear of making mistakes."

Sun WuKong wondered, "look at the cassock gauze. What's wrong?"

unexpectedly, after seeing the cassock, the old monk of the courtyard became adulterous and wanted to take it for himself, so he worked with all the monks to burn the Tang monk and master and apprentice at night.

later, although the master and apprentice were out of the fire, their robes were stolen by the black wind mountain monster.

as the saying goes, "do not harm others and guard against others."

A person lacks the background of being born rich, and once he is suddenly rich, he tends to show off and his psychology begins to gain the upper hand.

but their own treasure and their own financial situation are private affairs. If they show off in their moments, they will not only fail to win the sincere envy and respect of others, but will also be targeted by people with ulterior motives, bringing unnecessary losses to themselves.

just like the rich man called Shi Chong in ancient times, candles were used as firewood and tapestry satin made into a screen of 50 miles, showing off that he had dozens of coral trees four feet high. In the end, he was killed for showing off his wealth.

the book says:

"A rich family has a thousand grievances, half a lifetime of fame and everlasting trespass."

it's good to have a rich family, but it's hard to be annoying to show off to everyone.

people who are really smart will hide wealth and know how to "make a fortune in silence".

because compared with vanity in face, what is really worth showing off is the cultivation in your bones.

showing off in front of people who are richer than yourself is like a clown; pretending to be rich in front of people who are not rich will only make them uncomfortable.

after all, your wealth is earned by your own hard work for most of your life, so why use it to suppress others?

when people reach middle age, they more or less accumulate certain savings, which are the guarantee of your life, not the capital to show off in your circle of friends.

if there is no sense of self-protection, when the disaster comes, it will be too late, life's efforts will be wasted.

do not strive for profit, industry does not seek fulfillment

youdao is: the most taboo of life since ancient times, half poor, half rich, half self-safe, half deaf, half dumb, half peace of mind!

all things come and go on this day. When the flowers are half blooming, the wine is a little tipsy, and so is life.

if you always seek perfection and beauty in everything, you will only end up with nothing in the end.

there is a Zen story:

A martial arts master lives in seclusion in the mountains. Many people have come all the way to him to learn some martial arts tricks from him.

when they reached the mountains, they found the master carrying water from the valley.

in theory, the master should be able to pick two buckets full of water, but it is strange that neither bucket is full.

when people were puzzled, the master said, "the way to carry water is not to pick too many, but to pick enough." Blindly greedy for too much is counterproductive. "

the man picked very hard, and after a few steps, he fell to the ground, spilling water and breaking his knee.

"if the water is spilled, don't you have to go back and re-punch a bucket?" If you have a broken knee and it's hard to walk, aren't you picking less than you just did? "

"so how much do you choose and how to estimate it?" The crowd asked.

the master pointed to a line in the bucket and said with a smile:

"this line is the bottom line, higher than this line will exceed their own abilities and needs. With this line, we can remind us that we should do our best and act according to our ability. "

many people like to show off their so-called "perfect" life in moments. Men show off their cars, houses and careers, while women prefer to share famous bags and perfumes.

but life is like a road, where there is an uphill, there must be a downhill, and if there is a peak, there must be a trough. If you want to pursue perfection, you will be burdened by perfection.

the sun is shining, the sun will set in the west mountain, the moon will be bright, it will be deficient like a hook, and the grass and trees will be verdant, and the flowers and leaves will fall eventually.

in fact, there is no secret to life, the most important thing is half full.

there is a ruler in life, but mistakes are disasters.

if you have money, you must know how to be frugal, otherwise you will squander it; if you have knowledge, you must know how to be modest, otherwise you will be complacent.

No matter what we do or do, we must set a bottom line for ourselves, not reluctantly, nor forcing others to make it difficult.

Don't be too full, don't mess around

there is a sculptor named Huan he who shares the art of sculpture with the public:

"is to make the nose of the statue bigger and the eyes smaller.

because the nose is big, it can be trimmed, but if it is too small, it cannot be changed; if the eyes are small, they can be bigger, but if they are too big, they cannot be changed. "

it is the same truth to be a man. If you leave three points soft, you will be five points full.

A blurted promise is easily broken; if you agree to others too soon, it is easy to get hurt.

there is a folk saying, "No diamond, no porcelain work".

Don't open your mouth or take the initiative to take what you can't do by yourself, because the speaker doesn't mean it, but the listener means it.

when people reach middle age, they come into contact with many circles and have a wide range of acquaintances, which is the result of many years of business.

if you advertise it in your moments just to show off, this kind of showing off will not give you extra points, but will damage your interpersonal relationship.

because your purpose is to show off, but in the eyes of others, you have many friends and a wide range of ways, so it must be easy to ask you for help.

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if you refuse, you will only be hated by others; if you say yes, you still have to ask others to do something else.

when things are done, you owe your friends a favor; if things are not done, others will think you are incompetent and end up thankless.

in fact, no matter how well-connected and deeply connected you are, it doesn't have much to do with others.

most of the time, the speaker does not leave himself room, but also has a competitive heart in trouble.

but you are not a saint, you cannot satisfy everyone, and you are not a living Bodhisattva who can do anything in heaven and earth.

just rely on knowing more people, you take everything to yourself, and the more things you do in the end, the more people you offend.

Life is often achieved in moderation, defeated in excess, and mistakenly lost in degree.

it is better to be down-to-earth. This is the truth of the so-called "leave a line of human feelings so that we can meet each other in the future".

Life is like a glass of water, a full bottle of water does not shake, half a bottle of water wobbles.

in life after middle age, you should know that you should speak when you should, and be silent when you should be silent.

No matter how successful your career is and how rich your life is, don't show off in your moments.

because people who are really capable never talk loudly, much less show off.

the reeds on the wall are top-heavy and light, with shallow roots; bamboo shoots in the mountains, sharp mouth, thick skin and hollow belly.

those who learn to keep a low profile and keep a low profile are all successful.

May you and I both maintain a peaceful and calm heart, stay away from the low-level circle of friends, speak appropriately, leave room for doing things, and live such a magnanimous life.