JYXZ89896

01

it's no use knowing anyone if you're not good.

the writer said:

"ability and resources are not good, and it is useless to have a strong network.

there are no free lunches or contacts for no reason.

you are not good enough, no matter how many people you know, it is just a name on other people's list.

never chase a horse, use the chase time to recommend it. Next spring, there will be a batch of horses for you to choose from.

Don't force yourself into some circles, try to be your own dignitaries, and your contacts will naturally come uninvited.

02

people only

you can ask yourself,

you can't ask others

the greatest stupidity of a person is the delusion of using his own will and standards to ask others.

think of yourself as good for each other, but in the end, you will not only be ungrateful, but will also be said to mind your own business.

We can't take care of God's affairs, and we can't take care of other people's affairs, so we might as well take care of our own affairs first.

03

good people are rewarded, but good people don't

there is a question on Zhihu: when did you decide to stop being kind?

especially like a reply: "in fact, I have never decided not to be kind, but to stop being kind to everyone."

kindness is expensive. You can't give it to everyone. You know, in this world, good people are rewarded, but good people can only suffer losses.

for people who are not worth it, blindly kind is tantamount to weakness; blindly patient, will only let each other do whatever they want.

they will continue to erode your interests, again and again.

however, the meaning of life has never been compromise and tolerance without principles and boundaries.

when kindness becomes a tool for others to hurt you wantonly, being full of thorns is the best way to protect yourself.

04

Don't lend money to acquaintances easily, it is easier to borrow money than to collect debts

there is a proverb in Japan: borrowing money to accompany smiley face is like Yan Luo.

sometimes, to borrow money is to buy yourself an enemy.

I saw an interesting remark in Zhihu: "how to make a person you hate disappear from your vision?"

the most popular answer: lend him money, and then urge him to pay it back, and you will find that he has disappeared.

people who fail to pay their debts always have thousands of reasons to avoid you, but people who are kind enough to borrow money become not people inside and outside.

therefore, do not lend money easily to others, especially acquaintances.

otherwise, the last person who is embarrassed is himself, spilling his heart out to others, and finally feeling so tired that he repents.

05

hate someone, there's no need to fall out with him

in life, we always meet people we don't like.

when I was young, when I hated a person, I always spoke coldly and desperately tore my face.

but as you experience more things, it becomes more and more clear:

hate a person, there is really no need to fall out.

just stay away silently, falling out will only make everyone unhappy, embarrass each other, and even make enemies for yourself.

if the three values are different, there is no need for strong integration; if the levels are different, there is no need to argue; if you are bad, you don't have to pester.

you just do a good job of yourself, others have their own turbidity, you have your own clarity.

06

learn to be a listener,

Don't talk, don't talk too much, don't talk nonsense

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there is a sentence in Jane Eyre:

"your brilliance lies not in talking about yourself, but in listening to others talk about yourself."

most of the time, we are always eager to express our opinions and opinions, but forget that listening is more important than expression.

listening carefully to what others say is not only a kind of upbringing, but also a kind of wisdom.

listening not only improves communication and reduces misunderstandings, but also allows us to think of and understand others.

therefore, good words can win the audience, but good listening can win friends.

07

Don't be in such a hurry to fall in love with someone,

and don't get to know someone too quickly

there is a saying on the Internet: people who are very enthusiastic when they just get to know each other often have a purpose.

those who are close to you ten times faster will leave you at some point in the future.

so never get to know someone too quickly.

haste makes waste, quick relationships are often like mirrors, easy to disappear, more often, take your time, it's faster.

08

even if you quarrel, never say bad words to each other

the improper use of language is a knife that kills without seeing blood, especially the closer the person is, the deeper the wound is.

so, no matter how angry you are, don't vent your emotions wantonly, let alone hurt the people closest to you with the most vicious words.

when you encounter anything that is not going well, force yourself to pause for 30 seconds until you calm down before talking.

09

people with high EQ know the art of speaking

speaking is not only an art, but also a discipline.

if you say the same meaning in different ways, the communication effect may be completely different.

replace "no time" with "urgent"; replace "casually" with "whatever you want";

replace "OK" with "pretty good"; replace "I can't" with "I can learn";

replace "no" with "strive for it"; replace "do you understand" with "do I make myself clear"?

this is not only a way to speak, but also a heart-to-heart understanding.

10

Don't overestimate your relationship with anyone

there is an effect in psychology called focus effect.

means that people tend to overestimate the attention of others around them, but in fact, in the eyes of others, you are not that important.

maybe you regard him as a friend of life and death, but he only regards you as an ordinary friend.

once this expectation fails, that strong sense of disparity will completely chill people's hearts.

so never overestimate your relationship with anyone and treat everyone who comes and goes in your life with a normal heart.

11

you are not RMB, don't always try to please everyone

Haruki Murakami wrote in the Norwegian Forest:

We should first learn to please ourselves, and then get along with others with an equal heart.

know that if you give up your boundaries in order to please others, they will not like or respect you.

people who live a real, calm, self-loving life deserve to be liked by others more.

12

Don't be motionless and be honest with others.

writer Kui Da once said:

"Don't dig your heart out of your heart, or you will tear your heart and lung."

not all the people you meet are worthy of your trust.

being too honest with a person is tantamount to handing him a knife with the tip facing him.

get along with people, say only 30% to strangers and 50% to acquaintances. Give yourself some leeway so that you won't get hurt easily.

▽

psychologist Adler said:

"all human troubles come from interpersonal relationships."

master some good ways to behave and do things, not only to make others comfortable, but also to make yourself comfortable, why not do it?

I hope these 12 pieces of advice will make you know the world but not the world, and have good popularity.

, share with your friends.